At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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