Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
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Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
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I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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