Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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