he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize