you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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