when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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