My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You are the jesus of drinking
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