This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
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The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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