forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
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you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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