I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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