I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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