First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
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We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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