Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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