dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize