She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
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I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
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I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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