wakey wakey hands off snakey
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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