i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize