I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize