I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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