I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize