No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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