Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
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Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
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the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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