My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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