Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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