I love black thongs
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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