ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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