I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize