it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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