He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
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Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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