he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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