is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize