no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize