In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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