i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
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smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
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Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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