I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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