quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize