Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
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And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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