Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize