mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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