i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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