Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
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My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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