either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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