somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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