hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize