Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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