Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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