we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize