ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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