i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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