Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize